You Said It
by DarkestWolfx
Summary: "This is not gonna' end well". There was a reason why they didn't have guests round for dinner often. Certainly not ones like Kip Harris. Scott wasn't even sure what that reason was anymore. Spoilers for 'Flame Out' (S3E9).


This is the other episode tag I meant to get this uploaded before I flew off to the Rainforest! It's still quite out-dated, and I know I've got gaps to be filling, but hey, hopefully it's enjoyable at least. The last one seemed to be going down well so I thought it was worthwhile throwing this one up before Saturday too. It's really just a little bit of pointless humour.

My next update will be sometime Saturday with the next episode tag.

See you all then!

* * *

"_I wonder if he likes Meatloaf Surprise."_

Well, it was safe to say that none of them liked Meatloaf Surprise, so what chance Kip Harris had of liking it Gordon had no clue.

He was more than happy to suggest they should bring something in with them, but of course Virgil pointed out the fact Kip Harris was travelling back to the island with them… yeah that made that option a no go. So, Meatloaf Surprise it was. _Yay_! He still hadn't worked out what the apparent 'Surprise' in the dish was.

Oh... they were so doomed. Dinner was going to be a disaster he could just feel it.

So, later, when his endless humour had driven Virgil up the wall, and Grandma had poisoned Kip Harris or something, and the man was desperate to leave or whatever the situation ended up being, he was going to remind Virgil that the middle child was the first one to say,

"_This is not gonna' end well."_

Not him. As the record stood, he said nothing.

Not a word.

He couldn't promise to keep it that way though, not if a glorious opportunity presented itself to him with that extra place laid at the table.

* * *

It was embarrassing enough to make a prat of yourself in front of your idol (some of that not helped by Gordon, but actually the younger was quite well behaved for his usual standards), it was another to then have to ask him to dinner on your Grandma's behalf (especially with knowledge of what her cooking was like). At least it would give him time to ask all his questions, but still. He'd have to talk quick in case Mr Harris never wanted to speak to them again after tonight. Yes, he'd have to get those questions in Thunderbird One speed quickly.

Maybe a rescue call would turn up during dinner and save them Mr Harris'... awkward reaction to Grandma's (foreseeably terrible) cooking? Maybe, but probably not on the one time he wished it (bad things as it was to wish).

He called Scott, to let the eldest know they were waiting for Mr Harris to return and then they would head home. Virgil couldn't believe he was stuck with Gordon for all that time though, the blonde chatting his ear off about his daring rescue and the fool he made of himself in front of his idol. He could do without both of those stories, especially as he knew they would only be repeated on return to the island.

Someone kill him, _now_.

* * *

Meanwhile, Scott had tried to wake Alan. Wouldn't serve for the kid not to look professional, or even not be there at all when Mr Harris arrived. Really it was lucky the blonde had managed to get a full day of sleep. How the kid still yawning though was lost on him.

And then he thought it best to update John whilst Grandma was busy slaving away in the kitchen. At least MAX was helping. Maybe they might not end up giving Mr Harris food poisoning then. He was still going to be ready for anything.

"John, how are things up there?"

"Quiet again now. What's going on down there?"

"Have Virgil and Gordon told you already?"

"Not a word, I don't think. Just that they're delayed in coming back. Gordon said they were waiting for a... delivery for Grandma."

"Of course he did!"

That was one way of implying the situation to John; John who was so lucky not to have been here for any of today. In fact, Scott wished he'd volunteered to go on the rescue now, for anything had to be better than staying here with Grandma talking his ear off about 'the hunk' and asking whether he thought Gordon and Virgil had asked yet. He was certain his ears were talked off and that half his brain cells had died. He'd much rather have not been privy to a whole load of that conversation, but alas he'd been the only one here. He couldn't even escape to do 'maintenance' on Thunderbird One in peace for Grandma had blinking followed him! So of course, he'd then had to make a show of 'fixing' his Flight Controls.

But John did't need to know all that right this moment.

"Well, the short version of the story is that Grandma has Kip Harris coming round for dinner."

"Oh, well... Virgil will like that, I suppose."

He couldn't help laughing. John blinked at him.

"I'm not sure he will, John. Mr Harris is sort of like Grandma's date for the evening."

And for a moment there, John was speechless. Unusual occurrence as it was.

"Oh…"

_Yeah_.

"It's all I've had _all_ day down here John!"

"Scott-"

"Apparently he's a real-"

"I _don't_ want to know."

"Probably for the best. You don't know a way I can wipe my memory do you?"

"That's the sort of thing Gordon might have a solution for."

"Yeah, if I'm brave enough to ask."

"Well, big brother, after tonight you might have to!"

_Thanks for the reminder, _he thought.

"Scott," Grandma called, and he couldn't stop his shoulders sagging, "Could you do me a favour and- Oh, hello John!"

"Hi Grandma." It seemed John wasn't sure what to say to that either. Scott still wanted to know what the favour was that Grandma wanted him to do. He could only imagine.

"John, has Scott told you we have a guest tonight?"

"Yes, he has."

"Well I was thinking, if there's not much going on," And she looked between the pair of them with that knowing look, the one which just challenged them to come up with an excuse, when somehow she already knew there was nothing real going on. Scott hated that look, "Why don't you come on down and join us?"

He could see the slight freeze in John's expression – only because he knew him so well. It was well hidden from Grandma though.

"I really couldn't."

"Oh, I don't know John-"

"Really, Scott." There was a double meaning in that and he tried to hide his smile.

"John," EOS' voice filtered in. This could be interesting. "I could do-"

"With a new processor. Sorry Grandma, that might take a while!"

"But John I-"

"It's _alright, _EOS, I'm sure Grandma and Scott understand."

He did understand, all too well. _Well played little brother._

"Yeah, we need Thunderbird Five and it's crew in working order. Speak to you later John."

"Bye Scott. Bye Grandma. Good luck."

_Good luck indeed_. He could have seriously buggered up that play of John's there is he wanted to. Good thing he was a good big brother. Well, it figured one of them might as well be spared from the dinner table disaster in the making. Who knows, maybe he could subtly call a favour in from John later if he really needed to, a flip side for him not blowing the water out now.

Alan walked, still blearily, into the room, wiping at his eyes.

"What's going on? Who's visiting?" The youngest really was probably better off staying in bed. But he wasn't letting that happen.

"Well Alan," Grandma began, and it just spoke for the whole evening. He followed them both out of the lounge and dutifully towards the kitchen as together they told him the story of the day - and by that Scott meant Grandma told the youngest all about Kip and he filled in the details of the rescue. Alan was already giving him 'big brother rescue me' eyes. Damn Kip Harris being a favourite of some of the family.

* * *

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Mrs Tracy."

"Oh, you are welcome! And call me Sally, Mr Harris."

"Call me Kip, Sally."

_Save me, _four minds thought simultaneously.

And that was only the start of the evening.

* * *

There was a reason why they didn't have guests round for dinner often.

Certainly not ones like Kip Harris.

Scott just wasn't quite sure what that reason even was anymore.

* * *

Later, _a lot later, _the four of them sat alone in the lounge. Mr Harris had decided to stay… the less thought and said on that matter the better, Scott thought. Gordon seemed to wholeheartedly agree in his groaning silence where he slouched across the couch as though drained. It would have been funny if Scott didn't feel like breaking in the same way.

They were talking to John and an occasionally snickering EOS over the communications systems. He knew exactly why she was snickering even after John's repeated attempts to silence her.

"Dinner went well though?" John inquired.

"As well as it can go when you're talking about dynamite half the time." Gordon grumbled.

"As well as it can go when your Grandma's making eyes at someone." Alan added.

"It's probably a good thing you were able to miss it, John." Virgil finished.

EOS chuckled. "A good thing indeed. You're _so_ lucky I _needed_ a processor, John."

"Yes, thank you, _EOS_."

"Seems like that new processor might be playing up, little brother."

"No Scott, that's just EOS, being temperamental."

"I regret that term." The code chirped in from off visual.

"She's such a child." Alan snorted.

"Like you're not?" Gordon queried. Alan chucked a pillow at him. The evening was just descending into chaos at this rate.

"But really," John revived, "It wasn't quite as terrible as you all thought it was going to be?"

"No..." Virgil stated.

"It was ten times worse!" Gordon concluded.

"Oh."

"Turns out Mr Harris is rather _fond_ of Meatloaf Surprise." He informed John.

"Ah."

"And unless he's on a rescue, has a lot of free time!" Virgil threw in.

"I see."

"And, he and _'Call me Sally'_ get along just fine." Alan threw in.

"Well it's good for Grandma I suppose." John paused. "Wait, she actually said that?"

"Yep. And he said, _'Call me Kip.'_" Gordon even did the accent.

"Oh God."

"You're not down here John. You haven't even heard the half of it." He summed up for his first youngest brother.

"I think I'm fine without hearing it."

That was probably true. If they could all unhear what they had, they probably would choose too.

"Oh, Sally thank you for dinner."

"Alan he said he was fine." Virgil began and John was frowning considerably.

"And we don't even need to hear it all again." Scott pointed out as Gordon stuck his fingers in his ears and smushed his face into the pillow Alan had thrown his way.

"It's so lovely to be here with you on this charming island. You're such a wonderful person-"

"Alan, please!"

"Shut up, little brother."

"This is ridiculous!"

"EOS stop laughing!"

"I'm not John!"

That could certainly be argued. Alan fell silent. Maybe his energy from sleeping all day was beginning to wear off. _Please_ let that be the case.

And for a while it seemed the peaceful silence on the 'Kip Harris and Sally Tracy' matter between them was golden. Gordon only threw in the odd sounds to the conversation, seeming truly weary now, Virgil was still running on excitement, admiration and adrenaline. He was just… Scott didn't know what he was for once. Alan seemed to be a perfect mix of energy and completely drained. And John was level headed as per usual. EOS was still throwing in the odd point but at least it kept them distracted.

Until they ran out of things to talk about, all of them getting as tired as each other of trying their hardest to avoid one subject in particular. And then of course it started all over again.

"At least he answered my questions."

"At least!" Alan exclaimed before dropping his head back onto the waiting pillow. Good thing there was a waiting pillow, Scott thought, else that could have been painful.

"Virge," Gordon mumbled, one of the first things he'd said with _words_ this evening, "You probably didn't have to rush through with the questions. Seems like you're gonna' have a while to talk to the man. Seems like-"

"No!"

"Gordon, we don't want to know what anything seems like from your perspective."

"But-"

"Don't say it!" The four of them chorused. Gordon shut his mouth and fell quiet. He didn't need to say it. They could all think it.

"There would have been worse choices than Kip Harris though."

He wouldn't have expected that from their middle child. "Virgil!"

"I'm ending the call."

"See, it wasn't me that time!"

Alan's answer came in the form of a snore. Scott thought that was actually appropriate given the day they'd had as a whole. That had been one draining evening. Maybe it would be better if they were all in bed like-

He groaned. Why was it so hard to think anything now? Damn it! Maybe it would be better to stay up the whole night.

"Besides-" Gordon began, and he scrambled to his feet. "Where are you going Scott?"

"I'm not tired yet. And I've got maintenance I need to finish on Thunderbird One."

"Oh great, I'll join you."

"Me too."

That was so not the plan.

Was there no peace around here?

_Beep._

Alan jumped up, pillow dropping to the floor with the quick-speed and force.

"What?"

"Guys," John began, and he instantly knew he shouldn't have even thought the word _peace_, "International Rescue might have a situation."

"FAB." The four of them chorused.

Maybe it was for the best they were going to be off the Island though for all they knew.


End file.
